Parenting from the Heart...

Last week on instagram, you may recall I wrote a raw & honest post about my experience of becoming a mother. It stirred up so much conversation about our individual experiences of parenting and the impact it has made on us, the many incredible comments were messages straight to my heart...

...click here to read the full post and beautiful comments. 

My friend Shona who has spent over 20 years as a youth worker & is a mum to two wonderful young men, was moved to action by the post (her inner fire was ignited!) and asked me if I’d consider inviting you to an evening discussion/workshop that her & I would co-host together. One of the things that struck me, after a number of conversations between us this past week while sharing our ideas and intentions for such an event, was when Shona told me this:

“My parents were the only people I ever heard say that they loved teenagers. They looked forward to us being teenagers. I had never heard that before from anyone! Most parents lamented the coming of the teenage years, feeling an ever-growing dread at the thought of what was to come and worse openly communicating that in front of their children."

Absolutely! I thought, I know my parents were those that probably dreaded it and certainly didn't talk about it afterwards with joy & lightness! And I know many of my friends today look at their teenage years as though they were horrible to their parents, and so dread their own children becoming teenagers. Shona continued...

"The sense of acceptance that I felt when I heard my parents say they loved teenagers was very powerful. It took away the power of the teenage rebellion. I’m not saying that it was all unicorns and rainbows but it was as smooth a transition for everyone in the family as any I had ever seen. And now having raised my own two teenage boys, I see, from first hand experience, the wisdom of their words.”

After I heard her say that, I was IN! And now we are super excited to let you know the details. It will be a casual & intimate evening 7:30-9:30pm on Tuesday March 20 at Shona’s beautiful home here in Rozelle, Sydney, where we will discuss a number of parenting topics close to our hearts, and problem solve with Shona’s guidance. This event is for parents of small children to teenagers. I’ll be the voice of our emotions (you know it!), and Shona will share the tools we can use to work through our challenges. You’ll leave feeling inspired & empowered as both a parent and person. 

Parenting from the Heart: A Path of fun, growth and LOVE...

All the info is up on my website now, here is the link.  There will be champagne and beautiful French cheeses of course (no event I host is complete without them!) It’s limited numbers as we want to keep the event intimate so if this is something you’d love to come along to, place your booking and we will email you with more details! I hope you can come along, it’s going to be a wonderful and life-enriching evening. Xx

Laly sings Liferaft, written by Sydnee Carter...

The other day on instagram I posted a snippet of the lullaby Laly sung to me the other night. I asked her if I could record it on my phone to share with you and she said yes. So I took a video of it in the dark, and Romain extracted the sound so I could share it with you here. 

This is a song I've been singing to her for the past few months. Every year or so I learn a few new songs to sing to her at night. I rarely sing traditional lullabies, instead I've chosen songs that I absolutely love - songs that have beautiful messages she can carry with her throughout her life. When I was pregnant with her 6 years ago, I learnt the words to these songs and sung them to her when I was relaxing in the bath, the heaviness of my body relieved in the gentle water; and kept singing them to her at night all these years. At bedtime, she chooses one or two songs for me to sing, but lately she's been wanting to sing them herself. 

The song list that has remained  strong for the past 5 years has been as follows...

Birds by Emiliana Torrini
Sunny Road by Emiliana Torrini
The Sweetest Gift by Sade (which we call "The Moon Song")
Dreaming My Dreams by The Cranberries (which we call "The Dream Song")
Angel Standing By by Jewel (which we call "The Angel Song")

And in between those I've made up a few of my own that she chooses ("Silver Star", for example, and a song called "Slaapa Slu" which my Mum used to sing), as well as some French ones (including "Dodo, l'enfant Do"). 

This one is a new one we've added called Liferaft, by young Australian singer & songwriter Sydnee Carter. I hope you enjoy Laly's version (lyrics below)...

Pick me up,
hold me in.
I am broken,
I'm nothing.
I am weak,
not strong like you
still need your hand
to make it through.
Oh darling, can't you see?
You're the lock
and I'm the key
and in the dark
when I am blind
you'ld be the like {we sing: You'll be the light}
I will find. 
And for you I would be
the life raft in the sea.
And for you i would be
the life raft in the sea.

Pick you up,
hold you in.
If you're broken,
let i begin. {we sing: Then I'll begin)
You're not weak,
you are strong.
Just take my hand,
and hear my song
you'ld be the like {we sing: You'll be the light}
I will find. 
And for you I would be
the life raft in the sea.
And for you i would be
the life raft in the sea.

xx

PS and here is Sydney Carter singing it herself, so beautiful. 

International Women's Day...

self-portrait, capturing joy... "dance like no one is watching" March 2016

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In the imbalance of our still-standing patriarchal society, there has been the need to mark one day of the year as International Women's Day. Is it just me who finds this absurd? Because obviously, every day is #internationalwomensday. I've seen posts on social media to celebrate "the strong women", and calls for women to "be bold". Because we live in a society with a skewed perspective, being bold & strong is what is seen to be 'best'. But here is what I've learnt: As a young girl, I was taught by example that the only way I could be heard was to be loud - a characteristic I did not possess - to talk over the top of the dominant men in my life (& there were many!). But when the fire in me sparked, triggered by a topic I was passionate about & needed to be heard, I was told to shhhh, shut up, be quiet, and "who do you think you are!". This I know is not unfamiliar to many, and has been acceptable behaviour in the past. But now, we are in transition. The female energy is bursting forth and it's pretty incredible to be alive right now, to be witness & part of it. And here's the crux of it: Women don't need to be 'bold' to exist. We don't need to be loud. We can be soft, we can be quiet, we can be gentle, or whatever the fuck we feel like being in the moment. We are enough, just as we are right now. 
Right now. And always. 

I've not told this story before, but when I was birthing Laly, I had the most wonderful knowing - all the bullshit I'd been fed over the years about being 'lesser' because I was female was stripped bare as I felt the eternal flow of birthing, of being female - there is nothing stronger or bolder in life than to be female: We ARE it. 

And to restore balance the call is to recognise & celebrate the feminine energy in you - no matter if you're male or female. To recognise & celebrate the feminine energy in nature and life. This is a special time of change in the world, and all of us are a part of it. We are opening. 

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Posted on instagram on Saturday, March 11, 2017. Here are some comments from the post:

jesse.made.itYes, yes & beyond yes! My perspective of these particular times has been exactly this...an opening...a time for healing...an emerging of what needs to come forth. It's been hard to explain to others, so it makes me feel at ease to read your thoughts. I feel confident as an American we will learn our most important lessons during these most challenging times. Where we are is exactly where we need to be. And, the female energy will rise because of it! ✨✨✨

anthesisbotanicalsYes, yes and yes!! As a female, and the mother of a male, I want {with ALL MY HEART!} to celebrate the feminine and masculine that shines through me, those I love, those I find hard to love and those I share the planet with. If I can achieve this I know I am evolving, expanding and growing. This energy that waxes and wanes is most certainly not of one gender only. Our genitals and genes are just exterior markers on maps that illustrate worlds we have yet to explore. Our energy is first and foremost HUMAN! Thank you @piajanebijkerk - Thank you!! Here's to the feminine AND masculine within us all. Here's to faith, love and tolerance. They have ALWAYS been the victors - no matter what the war. 💛💛💛

nylaadamsPreach, sister. Your words helped me connect with why my gut/heart finds this day absurd too. For me, it trivializes the all-pervasive feminine power that flows through ALL. I get that this day may foster discussion for some... but when women unapologetically own the power of the feminine every day, there is no need for a 24 hour reminder. Without intending to, the day is actually trivializing and demeaning. And who are we reminding of the "value" of women with this day?? Certainly not other women. There's no international men's day for a reason. When we no longer identify as a group who needs this "type" of recognition, we will finally realize that, as you say, we ARE it.

Adventure awaits...

Yesterday I dropped my little girl off for her first day of school. Her very first day. As we walked together toward our destination, hand in hand, I asked her, "So what can you think about when you're at school and I'm at home working?" She answered confidently, "our invisible string"*. "Yes!" I said,  "And don't forget about the rainbow that goes from my heart to yours".*  We contemplated out loud what she might do on her first day, our conversation was filled with lots of unanswered questions, lots of unknowns. We know that lots of unknowns simply means that an adventure awaits. I told her how excited I was for her, and that I would be so excited to see her at the end of the day and to hear all about it. When I left her she was drawing in her new classroom. We kissed, both of us quiet & courageous. I saw her pick up a pale pink pencil and draw a small circle in the top left corner of the paper, and then with the same pencil, begin to colour it in.

As I walked home, feeling emotion course through my body, I saw her as a baby in my memory: Swaddled, snug and safe in her cotton wrap like a caterpillar in its cocoon falling asleep in my arms. I only now fully grasp the meaning of the words spoken to me by the many wonderful wise souls who crossed our path in those early days. They would smile at me and my baby and say, "precious and fleeting times, enjoy this moment". And I did, I did enjoy those many moments.  And naturally yearned for the frustrating, helpless and hopeless moments to hurry up and pass as sleep deprivation took hold week in and week out. 

Although five years on as parents we both feel we are still catching up on sleep, and there are still frustrating and hopeless moments...it feels so different now. And being only at the beginning of this part of the journey, I'm just catching glimpses of how it will be different. I understand it's still precious and fleeting - oh to see those little ones in their uniforms, the little fish in the big sea! - as is every moment in life we connect with others: precious and fleeting.

In the afternoon as I walked to meet her, I thought about how proud and filled with wonder I was to see her brush her teeth all by herself with such gusto that morning. I realised she is so ready for this, and I am happy for her.

When I picked her up, she was tired but beaming. She showed me the picture she drew that morning at school, her very first drawing at school. Starting with that small pink circle in the top left corner, she had filled every part of the paper. It was our rainbow. 

xx

*These are in reference to two books we love and have been so helpful in dealing with separation anxiety. I'll be talking about them in my next newsletter, which will be sent out early next week...